Trauma.

Even that word makes me feel icky.

Many people have experienced some trauma in their life, albeit to varying degrees.  Everyone has a story to tell.  It’s not a who had it worse kind of thing, trauma is trauma.  And you have to deal with it or it will eat you up for the rest of your life, affecting everything from friendships and romantic relationships you have, to how you parent, and even the relationship you have with yourself – (which is the most important by the way)

I came to hear about Mel Robbins a while back, and finally listened to an Audible book by her called ‘Take Control Of Your Life.’  Anyone wanting to improve their lives should listen to or read this book. Game Changer.  She coaches people, and you get to hear their stories.  I assure you, one will resonate with you in some way, click here to get it today.

There was this one lady who had been physically abused by her alcoholic father.  This one of course made me listen intently.  Some of the things she said was like “yup, I get it”  this girl said she was a people pleaser by nature, she didn’t like anyone to not accept her or be displeased with her in some way.  Mel had then went into great detail to explain that children of abuse, are people pleasers out of survival! S.U.R.V.I.V.A.L. SURVIVAL.  I wanted to shout out loud as soon as she explained that.  Yes, because we (kids of abuse) would get the shit kicked out of us if we displeased our abuser! #truth  As sad as it is, it is true.  And so you try and try to be the kindest most loving kid, to make sure you don’t get in the way or else you would be sorry.  This then goes into your adulthood and affects every aspect of your life, that’s why it is so important to share your story, to release it, to tell someone you trust.  its not because you’re looking for attention or sympathy. You need to share your story to heal from it… As I say… A story untold, is a story unhealed.

Hearing other people’s stories is my favourite part of my job, I LOVE it! I love listening to everyone and watching their entire demeanour change or their voices soften after a traumatic story is told.  They get it released so it no longer consumes them.  There’s a reason why we tell our Hairstylists and massage therapists everything… It’s talk therapy.  And it works.

One question I ask most of my clients is, “What’s the worst thing that has happened to you?”

Ask yourself that question, what comes up? Is it a memory of trauma? Is it the loss of someone? What is the first thought that comes to your mind? If you have a friend that you know has been through trauma in their life, ask them this question. I’m confident if they haven’t talked about it before, they need to, they need to release it.  If you yourself have had trauma, I ask you to talk to a friend, go for a “mental walk” just talk and share your stories with each other. Don’t feel like you’re looking for sympathy, you’re not, you’re needing to be heard! That’s the difference! And when you feel heard, you can finally let it go, you can HEAL.

Because you’re worth it.

Jackie